With Coronavirus planting itself firmly in Canada over the weekend, all of the schools in Alberta closing, and most of us already diving deep into social distancing to flatten the curve of the spread, I know many of us are concerned about living under quarantine with our kids and how to thrive as a family during this time.
As someone who has been on bedrest since mid-December, has been homeschooling my kids since September (and was homeschooled myself) and is generally a home-body with the kids at the height of social times, not much is going to change here in our house under quarantine, except that Curtis is currently working from home.
I’ve spent so much time reading and researching all about what kids need most in their lives to help their brains develop properly and to thrive. Believe it or not, it mostly all comes down to slowing down, and there’s never been a better time to make this a part of your life than right now while we are socially distancing to slow the spread of coronavirus.
I want to share the insight I’ve found through living slowly with my children; I’m also going to share about what kinds of things we do to keep busy at home, what kind of routine and rhythm guides our days, and what we do for school. Hint: It’s all about simplifying. Here are my 7 top tips to thrive under quarantine with your kids, answering the most frequent questions I’ve recently been asked by all of you.
1. How am I supposed to entertain my kids all day in a small home?
Here’s the thing about living more slowly and simply, the more simplified their surroundings, the more children will play and entertain themselves. I try to keep our toys generally organized (more on this later) into baskets and containers, and not have them all out at once. This makes it so easier for the kids to see their toys, find something to play with, and spark creative ideas.
Encouraging independent play, even from a very young age, and giving your kids the space and time to get bored is key to children learning how to entertain themselves and develop their imaginations, you just need to get used to ignoring any inconsequential and irritating behaviour, like whining, about being bored and they will eventually come up with some great ideas of something to do. They will get increasingly better at this the more time you give them to just freely play, they need time to learn these skills if it’s not something they’re used to.
We also keep a fully stocked craft corner right beside our dining table. I purchase only completely washable art supplies so I don’t have to worry about them staining things and can just let them freely create whenever the urge hits them. My son prefers to play with toys but my daughter loves the freedom to spends hours a day colouring, writing, and painting.
2. How do I keep them entertained and off of electronics more?
Keeping the electronics to a minimum under quarantine might seem like a losing battle, but it can be done and it is incredibly important for children to have plenty of time away from electronic games and shows (and the constant craving for them) for their brains to develop and for them to learn how to regulate their emotions properly. I’ll give you the strategies that we use and that have worked really well for us.
Take control of the electronics in the house. The kids don’t get to decide when and where they use them, you do! If your children have been on a lot of electronics lately but you're choosing to cut back, there is definitely a “detox period,” as electronics are highly addictive, so give yourself all some extra grace as you pass through this time. If your children can’t help themselves from using devices even though they’ve been told not to, put passwords on things they know how to open themselves so that they need permission to use them. As with anything, set the example by limiting your own time on your phone or device.
Set up a time they can count on for them to use their electronics. We did this with our kids and the requests for shows and games throughout our days is now almost non-existent. Our children know that on Saturday mornings they get to watch cartoons and they know they can pick one day a week to play an hour of video games (this will of course look different for every family and what they’re comfortable with). If we want to have a movie night or watch a show or two on any given day or play a few more video games, we do! But instead of being an expectation and something they lose time thinking about and agonizing over wanting, it’s a special treat. Their mind is freed up to learn and play the rest of the time. When they know when they can expect it, they don’t panic or nag about it because they feel some semblance of control and independence over the situation.
Keeping their play spaces clean and tidy (except for when they are in the middle of playing in that space, let them make a mess!) leaves them a blank canvas to create and imagine. Children always play better in a clean space and with less toys to decide between, believe me! The more inviting their play-space is, the less they will be on the hunt for electronic alternatives to play.
3. How do you keep your house clean with your kids home all day?
Like I mentioned above, I like to keep our toys organized and play areas tidy so that the children play better. This does not mean our house is clean during the day, giving them space to play and make a mess is necessary for them to learn and grow and want to play, but it does mean that we have spaces built into our daily rhythm to tidy up so they can get creative and start the play-cycle all over again.
To keep toys organized and under control, I gather every single toy in the house about twice a year to organize them into sets and purge the junk. The toys most worth keeping are the ones that encourage open ended play, which basically means the less a toy does on its own, the more learning and imaginative play will go into using it. We are talking about simple things here, such as dolls, cars, blocks (wood or magnetic blocks), animals, play-food and dress up clothes, lego and playmobil sets, etc. We keep sets and similar toys together and in baskets or containers so that all the kids have to do when they want to play with something is grab that basket out.
Children will play more with less toys, give it a try and see what happens. You don’t even have to get rid of things right away if you’re not sure, just tuck extra toys away and out of sight and see what happens. Then you’ll realize it’s magic and can donate all of the toys you don’t need!
For keeping our spaces clean so they feel fresh creativity again, less toys is definitely the first step! We also typically have a tidy-up before lunch (they clean up and then we all get to eat! A great incentive!), then they have what we call “quiet-time” in the afternoon since they don’t nap, and when quiet time is up, they must clean up the space they were playing in to come out of their rooms. We typically have one final clean up before dinner, since we eat almost right before bed most nights.
Since I’ve been physically unable to do any tidying up myself with this pregnancy, the kids have really stepped up their game and do a pretty good job, mostly because they know mom isn’t doing it, it’s the expectation and it’s their responsibility. We should have started this ages ago! Adding music to tidying up time is always a good idea and helps make it more fun, as is giving them time and patience to get it done at their pace.
Back to keeping toys fairly organized, when there is a place for everything and the kids know that, it makes cleaning a more manageable task for them. For very little kids, doing the tidying with them is a great way to start, and creates the expectation that we take care of our things right from the start. For children a little older, if it’s a giant mess, I help break it down into little jobs such as, “Let’s start with the lego, put those all in the lego bucket. Great! Now let’s pick up all the transformers, put them all in their basket and on the shelf. Perfect! Now the stuffed animals…” You get the point. The more positive the experience, the better.
4. How do I remain sane and find time for myself with my children home all day?
This might just be my greatest accomplishment as a mother, I’m not going to lie. Once our kids started transitioning out of afternoon naps and there was no break in our day, my oldest and I would end up stressed and exhausted by early afternoon and it didn’t feel healthy for anyone. I read something about “Quiet Time” in place of nap-time and it was the biggest light-bulb moment.
We started doing Quiet Time in the afternoons immediately after lunch for an hour to an hour and a half. The expectation is that no one asks Mom questions during Quiet Time, I get to choose the space where I will spend it and then the kids can pick where in the house they want to be, anywhere I’m not is up for grabs. Typically this means I’m on the main floor and the kids each get a bedroom upstairs, or they choose to play together (as happens most days after a while). Quiet Time is over when their clock goes off and we all come back together feeling better for the rest.
It took us quite a while and a lot of determination/repetition to get the hang of it with Georgia, but once James dropped his nap and had seen Georgia having Quiet Time for so long, he just followed her lead and settled right into it. The better they get at independent free play, the better they will be at Quiet Time.
I can definitely tell the days we don’t have Quiet Time by how easily the children (and I) get frustrated about things as they day wears on. It’s a time of day that we all need to recharge and take care of ourselves, and that’s the way I approach it with the kids. It’s not a punishment, it’s always a positive, self-care focused time of day.
5. What is the best daily schedule for homeschooling my kids?
The best schedule is the one that works for you and your family, it needs to be built upon what you value most and what you need to get done in a day. We don’t go by a schedule with strict times as much as we go by a daily rhythm, which gives us more freedom and flexibility within a routine the kids can rely on to make them feel safe, stable and in control, but also with enough give that it’s fun and stress free. Here is what our days typically look like, but as I said it changes day to day as we need it and allow it to, depending on how we all wake up in the morning and how the flow of the day is going:
Morning:
I WAKE UP AT LEAST AN HOUR BEFORE MY KIDS so that I can care for my mind, body and spirit before the day begins, starting my morning feeling internal balance. It makes a huge difference and directly affects how good of a mother I am that day. I do things like study scriptures, meditate, work-out (when not on bed rest) and journal. Do whatever makes you feel cared for.
MORNING SNUGGLE TIME IN MOM’S BED is one of our favourite parts of the entire day. The kids wake up and crawl right into bed with me. One of the biggest benefits of homeschooling is getting to have slow mornings, so that’s what we do. We snuggle and chat about our dreams, then we will do something spiritual together like read a scripture story, pray together, and do a quick children’s meditation. We love to use the app Insight Timer for free meditations, there’s a whole section for kids.
NEXT UP IS BREAKFAST, the kids will play while I tidy it up, and then it’s time to start school.
THEN WE START SCHOOL WORK. We don’t do school every day (my oldest is only in Kindergarten), but it is always in the morning after breakfast when the kids have the best focus and they haven’t gotten into deep play yet.
After school the kids are usually very ready to just play and it’s a nice time for me to sit and read a book, clean (when I’m not on bed rest), or work on a project. I find that as long as I’m busy, the kids focus better on their own thing.
Afternoon:
BEFORE LUNCH WE HAVE A TIDY UP so all of the spaces in our home are ready for Quiet Time, which we do immediately following cleaning up lunch. The kids head upstairs to separate rooms with any toys they may want for Quiet Time and I set their Gro Clock so they know when it’s over (and don’t need to ask me every five minutes). This is time I spend working, unless I’m in need of some extra self-care time and end up watching a show or reading a book.
The rest of the afternoon is spent with a good mix of outdoor time (recently I’ve just been helping them with their snow gear and sending them to the backyard), reading together, having “Tea Time” (drinking tea and having a snack, the kids love this!), or pulling out some art materials for them to create with.
Evening:
BEFORE DINNER WE DO ANOTHER QUICK TIDY, and after dinner is typically bed time. If we have a few extra minutes we like to pull out a card or board game or read a story to spend some extra time together as a family.
After bed time, the rest of the evening is time to take for yourself or spend with your spouse, doing things that help you relax and recharge so that you’re in a good place to start the next day.
6. What do you do for school with your kids? How do you homeschool?
Since we are only doing kindergarten this year, we have kept things really simple, but honestly the same goes for many grades. We keep the focus on math and reading and we spend time on age appropriate activities for both of these subjects every day. We purchased the curriculum we follow for both of these subjects, but there is so much free material online right now for your specific situation and grades, so take advantage. Combined, the two of these only take us about an hour. I remember as a kid that the thing I liked most about home-schooling is that I could get my work done as fast as I wanted and play and read for the rest of the day.
Remember that kids learn best through free play, which is why I make such an effort to provide so much time for it in our every day. When the kids have questions (or for history, science, and other subjects for older children) we will dive in with books and resources on the internet, there are youtube videos about every subject under the sun! This is an easy place to combine multiple grade levels for the same subject. It’s so much fun to learn together, just follow their interests and passions and make sure education is always a positive experience.
This doesn’t mean you have to ever plan over the top activities for every day, but it does mean that it should be positive and encouraging, something you can definitely be, regardless of your children’s attitude at any given moment.
Remember not to stress, kids learn in so many different ways and typically without needing to be formally taught, it’s impossible to stop them from learning constantly. Enjoy the freedom from rigid schedules and take advantage of the flexibility you have for what direction your days end up taking.
7. Extra ideas to help keep the kids busy while you’re stuck inside on quarantine
I always like to have one fun thing for the kids to look forward to in a day, or every other day, that we can do anytime within our daily rhythm that it fits best. I keep it very simple because I’m not capable of a lot right now, and I don’t want it to be stressful but instead, maintainable. It should be fun for everyone! Here are some simple things we do or have done in a day that make for some great memories:
Build a fort
Make cookies
Plan a craft
Have a dance party
Play board games together
Read a children’s novel out loud
Look at photos together
Play-dough together
Open a pretend restaurant
Fill the sink with water and different cups and spoons
Let them play in the bath
Draw a treasure map together and go follow it
There are so many things you could do here, the trick to keeping this up is to keep it very simple so you don’t run out of energy. Kids love simple things! There are so many resources out there with great lists of things to do with kids, as well as amazing Instagram accounts I like to follow to get ideas from, I’ll post some of my favourite and most helpful resources below.
Above all, focus on the positive things around you. The fact that you finally have time to truly slow down and enjoy and connect with the people who mean the most to you is incredible. Take full advantage of this opportunity.
Don’t forget that although we are physically distant, we don’t have to be socially distant. Use your phone intentionally to connect with friends and family in your life, we are all here to support one another through this stressful time, none of us are alone.
If you found any ideas or words of comfort in this post to help you through this current pandemic, please feel free to share this post with friends and family it might help. We are all in this together!
Resources:
My favourite parenting resources are:
No Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, all about how exactly a child’s brain develops and how best to grow them into functional adults.
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross, all about how to simplify your lives and parenting to protect and preserve the grace of childhood.
Ralphie from Simply on Purpose shares incredible parenting advice and information on her feed all of the time, go and watch her highlights and IGTV!